We know that some of you are saying "What, good flirting??" We know, because we thought that too. Until we took a step back and started to examine what flirting is, and why humans enjoy engaging in this dangerous pastime.
Because it is customary to save the best for last we are going to examine the bad and the ugly first. So get comfortable and don't even think about skipping to the end ;)
Have you ever watched a good friend flirt with a guy that she really likes? You thought you knew her; in fact you have been friends for several years. Then she morphs into this giggly, hair-flipping, eye-batting girl who suddenly is taking interest in cars, steak, and Chuck Norris. It leaves you wondering what happened to her-- your once normal chic-flick watching, tofu-eating, make-up wearing friend. Believe it or not she is still in there somewhere, behind the mask.
The mask is worn to hide who she really is. She is trying to create a persona that she thinks will attract or impress. She wears the mask because she is insecure; afraid that if anyone really knew her they wouldn't like her.
But we are called to lay aside the mask. Paul reminds us to live according to "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things... practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8&9)
"Bad" flirting is that which does not align with this list.
It is
1. deceptive (pretending to be something you are not),
2. dishonorable (not honoring to the other person),
3. unjust (it is not kind or fair to toy with the heart of the other person),
4. impure (without pure motives--having your own pleasure in mind instead of the best interests of the other person),
5. And unlovely (this is where the "ugly" comes in though often this is not apparent to you but it is to all your friends).
By now are squirming again--because you are perhaps recognizing yourself (instead of your friend) in this description...you are not alone, we have been there. We hope by the grace of God to learn to lay aside the mask.
And now for the good news.... (you can stop squirming now)
We never really thought that there was a good kind of flirting til we were enlightened by a friend that flirting in the context of marriage is completely appropriate! This is because good flirting is part of the pursuit and the pursuit should not end when the marriage begins.
Outside of marriage we believe that flirting can be a part of the intentional pursuit of a woman's heart when done in accordance with the principles of Philippians 4:8.
This may leave you wondering...what am I supposed to do? As women God has designed us to enjoy being pursued. We believe that this means not initiating flirting but responding to the pursuit.
Ultimately our interactions in all relationships should be in obedience to these words "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant that yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4
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